#the struggle is incredibly real
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oh that evil timeline btw? c!Ven would be dead. Since c!Ven made some more evil decisions in his early career in the main timeline, he’d make better moral decisons in the diverted timeline. So that boy is dead and buried early.
(or maybe someone loved him enough to hide him away, who knows…)
#in truth i was too busy with Real Life Struggles to be a part of the anniversary lore. but!!!! it was so incredibly cool!!!#i am so proud of my friends guys#an alternative timeline is either the place where ven gets off scott free. or the place where ven dies immediately#no in between#fable smp#fablesmp#fable smp ven#wet birds#vengari#fsmpblr#chronicles of wonder#sherbertverse
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call buffyverse the bermuda triangle because no ship made it out of that shit alive. no marriage finale, no kids, no epilogue. the ideal ending for me where it's just a whole bunch of exes and dead exes in a world where people are constantly coming back to life. multidimensional divorce FOREVER.
#sorry i'm like one of those conservatives obsessed with a particular idea of traditional heterosexual marriage but it's for divorce#to be clear i'm not talking about real divorce just like the people obsessed with Marriage are not actually talking about real marriages#but the IDEA they think it represents#real life is largely too boring and variable to talk about in sweeping terms#but i think the IDEA that two people once in love can fall out of it. unevenly. wretchedly. for the worse. is beautiful.#me watching buffyverse: wow these people are terrible to each other not because they're 'evil' but because they're incredibly human.#hedgehog's dilemma.... just like in my animes....#no resolution!! only the Struggle of Living forever!!!#whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo#buffyposting#btvs
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Hi! Your Hollow Knight AU has really cheered me up so I wanted to do a little drawing for it! This got me to get my art tablet out after months of not feeling like it so thank you for the inspiration! I hope the colors look good on any monitor that's not mine sdfsdf
Bugs In the Jingshi wyd?
I am so genuinely awestruck at how well you translated this AU to the hollow knight style! Also obsessed with the height difference.
#mdzs au#hollow knight#lan wangji#wei wuxian#fanart#Thank you so much for this B'*)#This is *so* incredible!! I feel incredibly honoured to have inspired something so beautiful!#I showed this asap to my friend who's been letting me observe their hollow knight playthrough and oh man oh man. The hype was real.#The colours have the Hollow Knight gloomy swag and the way that this looks like it could be an area in the game is soooooo good.#Thinking about the bug sounds they would make.....Peace and love on earth could be achieved with lwj hollowspeak....#I hope you keep finding fun things to draw!! Your art has continuously brought a lot of joy!#I very much understand the pain and struggle of having a craft you just...cant seem to get your heart back into.#Sending you so much love and energy and artistic inspiration!!!!#(lwj has the wrong eye shape b/c I was too focused on getting the silly angle for dramatic perspective. whoops)#I have honestly loved doing this AU and I'm fiercely happy that its been resonating with people (as it makes me want to do more hehe)
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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)
#ray's tag#keys' art#undescribed#skeletons#ok to reblog#the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear#(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing#that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav#it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it#that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to#especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently#it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow#my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints#but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients#I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i#a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie#especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones#we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone#or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare#so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone#will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay#we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it#(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont#actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)
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After reading some novels, I've never been afraid of what Asagiri could do. I'd give my life for him and the world he creates.
I have seen many people upset (to say the least) about the current arcs. However, to me, he has always done an incredible work (with the majestic Harukawa's art). IK we had 6~7 months of pure agony and despair, but the waiting was finally over.
As a good Brazilian would say "dias de luta, dias de glória" (days of struggle, days of glory).
121.5 Spoilers ⚠️
Akutagawa came back! And Atsushi got sliced.
But, omg he's still alive 🙏
I'm so happy to see what exactly the 4th dimension is, and we finally knew what happened to the ADA members. THEY AREN'T DEAD!
Probably in the next chapters we will get more information about the book and the 4th dimension. My predictions are that Fyodor will despair after losing the bookmark (Atsushi), and something will happen to bring Atsushi back.
My biggest question is how Atsushi will get out of the 4th dimension and whether the other members will be able to do it too.
Also, who I also rlly want to see is Natsume sensei and if he have any involvement with the book since he's the most mysterious character in BSD.
Anyway, here's a chapter to show us that Atsushi is still the protagonist!
Keep cooking, Asagiri, I'll always believe in you!
#i love bsd for many reasons#the biggest reason is ofc bc of the characters. how human and imperfect they are#how real is their struggles their mindset their stories#But the other reason is the world-building. I love that every LN I read increases my understanding of this world.#Every manga chapter I read expands how this world works. How incredible (for me) is the abilities/ power system#bsd#bsd spoilers#bsd 121.5#bungou stray dogs#bsd manga spoilers
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things I wish I could relive for the first time again:
that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.
because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.
like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.
#this is currently about arcane but it's also every fandom i've been in since the dawn of time#there is so much political discourse about how the show handled the piltover zaun conflict and class struggle and i just#like i don't even know what to say besides. art doesn't have to provide the correct answer you know#it's not asking you to accept their explanation as the right one. it's just presenting a story. a scenario. a nuanced one at that#which of course the internet is the enemy of nuance as we know#especially in arcane i thought it was fairly clear that the end wasn't the bright shining future anyone hoped it'd be.#was anyone right in their actions? did anything turn out the way they wanted? or was it just as messy and gray as real life#we're living in such a myopic time for art where it's believed every story must take the correct stance or be invalid or even harmful#instead of just offering a perspective. a lived experience. a hypothetical. a story.#and when it gets to be headache inducing all I can do is take myself back to how I felt when I watched the show for the first time#and I came away from the whole thing being incredibly moved and captivated by the entire story and its nuance.#i had no qualms and no criticisms and i was very impressed with the depth of storytelling surrounding the political parts of the plot#as well as the character arcs. i guess people like to dunk on viktor's s2 arc nowadays and i just. shrug. i was blown away by it#for me at least i have nothing but pure love and admiration for art after i've viewed it. it's only after interacting with fandom#that the criticisms seep in and now i can't unsee it and even if i don't agree with it it still muddies my ability to enjoy the art#fandom is a curse in that sense. like i seek out art that i enjoy. i have no desire to make myself dislike that art. whats the point#why are the biggest haters of a piece of media the 'fans' of it idk.#me finishing a show: wow i love all the characters and the plot and the cinematography! I want to talk to others about how cool it is!#meanwhile the fandom hating characters to the point of death threats to their creators#after 13 years in fandom i can say this - if you don't need to join the fandom for smth then don't lmao.#you'll be able to retain your genuine enjoyment of the thing.#that whole 'if you didnt like what i made then make your own' philosophy people use on fanfic/fanart should be applied more#to actual published art too. you should be able to meet art where it's at and if you don't like what it's saying or how it looks then#just move on and find something else. another branch of the 'the greatest enemy of the left is the left' tree imo#a show has a lot of queer rep? bash it to the point of making the creators go into hiding for not doing it how you think it should be#no artist will ever be able to satisfy everyone's demands. they just want to put their experiences and ideas into the world#creators that try to do good get more vitriol than those who never try. they're scrutinized harder and judged more harshly#it's just. one of those 'real fucking tired of fandom' nights. the best cure is just going back and rewatching the source material#all on your own and falling back in love with it. just you and your genuine connection with the art.#anyway what happened to steven universe was unforgiveable and it really ruined fandom for me. like. yall don't deserve nice things
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natlan 5.1 was batshit insane but i won't deny cookery when i see it. last 1/3 of the archon quest is just brilliantly done in my opinion, from writing to level design to soundtrack. just genuine excellence
#sev.screams#natlan#the character centric parts were rather weak to me#ororon has an intriguing arc but i don't care enough about him to care about the arc#similarly i only felt a surface level investment with a lot of the other main cast; though funnily enough excluding citlali#she's a breath of fresh air amongst the cast and i really enjoyed her screentime#there are a lot of story decisions in this quest that i'm impressed and glad hoyo decided to take; it adds a layer of realism to natlan tha#was missing in inazuma and ultimately i believe was the reason inazuma flopped as a nation#there is real tangible weight in the things that happen in natlan; i felt moved by the story and i think that's the hallmark of a good stor#i hope in the next archon quest they don't undo or undermine these decisions in any way. they truly contributed so much to the overall tone#of the story that to remove them would be like taking the legs out from underneath it#writing aside the environmental storytelling and level design also contributed so much to crafting the atmosphere of this quest#it felt gut wrenching in a way inazuma never did. for even the briefest moment these npcs were people and you were watching them struggle#a poignant beautiful desperate struggle that i think is so incredibly human and both moving and heartbreaking to witness#also helped by the exquisite ost. hoyomix has certainly not lost their touch even with yu peng chen gone#despair hope triumph relief; all captured so wonderfully in a score i know i will be listening to for the next few weeks once it drops#i'm rambling so much but. i liked this a lot and i can only hope hoyo sticks the landing on this one#i hate having high expectations but i can't help it for this one i fear
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character. i know you’ve done deplorable things. killed, maimed, yes. really, i think we the watchers have seen your sins better than anyone else. but please. you all NEED to stop thinking “i deserve this” every time you get into peril and harm. is this just. A Thing all redeeming characters do or what?
i have a character in mind but yall reblog this with whoever you think of bc i want to see the difference :>
#[i know self-blame is incredibly real and i’ve been there#unfortunately. but i for one am not a murderer and for two i’m talking about fiction. if you’re#actually struggling with self-blame than seek help! or anyone.]#but in fiction. why is it always THAT PHRASING SPECIFICALLY#quilly’s writings
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anyone else having to go through fhjy at a snail's pace bc every time there's a teacher-student interaction (even the positive ones!) you want to set something on fire because of how much you hate high school and american academic culture and it throws you back to the Bad Old Days of actually being in high school, but also you really like fantasy high and you really like the characters and their story and the players and the way they're exploring & critiquing the US school system and basically everything about the show but actually watching it makes your brain explode?
#dimension 20#d20#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#original post#look every time porter comes on screen i lowkey have a rage blackout#my hyperempathetic ass needs to watch recaps or read the transcripts or something#its too goddamn much#bc fantasy high has never actually been about like. the academics#but now that it is and now that aguefort is functioning more as a prestigious private school than as a lawless wasteland#its actually bringing back memories of me being in high school. the bad ones.#so its like. it turns out that the thing i liked about fantasy high was that it wasn't actually high school as i remember it#look i think what they're doing this season is genius#brennan is the perfect person to tackle this kind of topic#and each character has a different struggle that is both unique and yet resonates with the real world#and academic trauma is incredibly underdiscussed and i love that d20 has the guts to address it#i just need to take 3-5 business days to process every like. hour of content#so. we'll see how long it takes me to finish it
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The biggest problem with the male loneliness epidemic rhetoric is that people have forgotten that it was originally about men lacking support in male friendships. Then the manoshphere fuckfest got ahold of it and determined that duh, the only important relationships men can have are sexual, and all real men are straight, so clearly this is about men needing women to fix them. And then everyone just fuckin agreed to that dogshit definition. It's the polar opposite issue, and I think it serves in some part to take away from just how much can be learned from the community I've seen queer men hold for one another
#I've found myself feeling bad for occasionally needing a night with other queer men but honestly#yeah. i need that. a lot of them that know me dont instinctually treat me differently. and it's honestly incredibly comforting#theres a similar sincere emotional bandwidth. theres a sort of cunty brotherhood and i honestly love it#theres a lot of trauma and a lot of shit to correct each other on but the relationships feel real in a way that ive honestly struggled with#with straight womanhood's understanding of friendship#queer womanhood i dont know you but you all seem to be having a grand old time so keep it up
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oh god and another thing is that when sun wukong asks him if he knows the legend of 哪吒闹海 li yunxiang says "yeah duh" but then he's visibly taken aback when caiyun tells him about the whole pulling-ao bing's-spine-out thing so obviously he didn't actually know or at least didn't know it very well at all and was just LYING about it. and at no point between finding out he's nezha reincarnated and ripping ao bing's spine out again for the second time does he bother to ask or read up on it at all. deranged.
#i'm lyx-posting again nature is healing#he is so funny he just doesn't care about any of this god stuff at all#it's all a b-plot to his actual goal: dating su junzhu#i mean on one hand it's kind of nice because he's very grounded..#like he doesn't really gaf about all the god and heaven and reincarnation stuff at first#he just cares about the impact it has on real people right now#and as the movie progresses he does sort of start to struggle more with identity and honestly it was wrapped up a little fast#but on the other hand it is just an insane way to live your life#also an incredibly funny active decision by the creators#'ok what should we have our protagonist do after he finds out he's a reincarnated god' 'eat a macadamia nut and not react to it at all'#nezha reborn
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spent some time this afternoon attempting to restart the sock project i ragequit in march, which was frankly a major triumph purely on the Overcoming Psychological Inertia front, even though in practical terms i didn't really get much forrarder?
for context: i taught myself how to knit in like january and knit one (1) thing, which was a giant neon cowl with giant yarn on giant circular needles, and then was like, ok well i have one million hats so. maybe not one of those next, even though it wld otherwise probably be logical. …sox r also basically tubes, right? which was, uh, a pretty hubristic leap in difficulty—i mean, 'tinier' isn't really conceptually more complicated, and in theory dpns are just, like, if a circular needle were segmented instead; but in practice 'tinier' is trickier and more stressful, for me at this stage in my knitting non-career anyway, and dpns are. very extremely not my friend so far.
i of course haven't been helping myself by attempting to do an italian tubular cast-on, which in fairness to me i didn't actually find prohibitively difficult to do flat when i originally tested it; but since it starts out as just, like, a series of twists that aren't actually locked in until a row or three down the line, i wasn't confident that the stitches wouldn't just unravel on me if i twisted the dpns the wrong way while attempting to get set up…
anyway i do think i learned some things today and tomorrow [or maybe more realistically friday, bc tomorrow i gotta play chauffeur] will be another day, on which i will perhaps have more success! hoping at that point to arrive at an understanding of esoterica like 'how to arrange the needles that form the tube relative to one another' (i think it shouldn't actually matter which ones top, but i sure felt today like i was Doing It Wrong, lol) and 'how the fifth needle actually interacts with the other ones in order to, you know, actually knit anything…' :)
#the real thing about knitting is that i'm just like. constantly wildly swinging between 'jesus god i'm an incompetent baby at this'#and 'actually i'm doing incredibly well at it considering i've got 0 experience + an absolutely prohibitive mountain of cptsd brainsludge#that kicks in whenever i try to do new and/or creative things and just‚ like‚ screams at me really distractingly'#so like. there's the actual project at hand and then there's like. all the psychological silt that even *attempting* 2 approach it stirs up#and so when you consider that the whole thing is a battle on multiple fronts…#well. if we're being honest it doesn't actually make it feel less pathetic to me#but we WILL be pretending i respect my own mental health struggles bc frankly the fact that i don't is part of the problem!#anyway. wading grimly thru my own incompetence AND brainsludge in hopes of eventually making it 2 the making-things part of the process!!#the psyche#journaling#knitting
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honestly it doesn't bug me that Jerry Seinfeld is bad at acting because the other main cast of Seinfeld are so good, Jerry's acting becomes a joke in and of itself.
#The three of them maintain the emotional immersion#Jerry's incredibly one-note acting is amusing but its not enough to overpower the costars and make the show feel fake#yknow???#Anyway. Jerry can do like. 2 emotions convincingly#mild social discomfort and mild amusement#legit his amused+disapproving reaction to his friends' bullshit usually (Elaine or George) is when the character feels most real#that and when he is trying to hide some mid / insulting opinion from a gf#On an in-universe note; it's VERY funny to imagine that Jerry is just an incredibly odd man#Always reacting as if amused on some level; speaks in a highpitch monotone whenever upset#Gives delightful autism vibes tbh#A guy who struggles with / cant do neurotypical emotional expression#He learned to be funny in order to be accepted socially (even turned it into a profit!)#but the catch is that this comedy-oriented mask is the only form of external emotional expression he knows how to do#'why arent you taking this seriously' 'istg i AM i just communocate exclusively thru jokes regardless of how i feel. yeah its a whole thing'#seinfeld#oh no she's writing headcanons abt the silly show#jerry seinfeld#my words#seinfeld thoughts
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.
#excuse me while i have a very selfish rant in the tags because i've been thinking about it for a while now and i need to get it out#i debated if posting about it or not but there's literally nobody who actually gets what i'm about to say because it's about good omens#and the only good omens people in my life are here on tumblr dkjfhgdg#but i've been feeling really conflicted about this whole situation (as i said... selfish rant)#i am not sure still how comfortable i am about happily engaging with the show and the fandom#not that there's anything wrong with still enjoying it but I MYSELF feel a bit icky. it's been tainted. my enjoyment of it isn't the same#yes it's still a story that's very dear to me and the cast is very dear to me and i am excited for the story's end#but it also bring on horrible thoughts of course because it reminds me of that fucking bastard so it's not like everything is just happines#and what's really rotting my brain right now is the fan animatic i was making... i always planned to come back to it#but then everything happened and now it's not something i want to dedicate so much time an effort to#because it comes with a very dark veil over it... but on the other hand i was incredibly proud of it and i was really REALLY excited#to finish it and share it with the fandom that's so wonderfully dear to me...#so i'm really REALLY struggling to accept both types of feelings right now... feelings that should be mutually exclusive but sadly aren't#one thing that fills me with so much joy also makes me feel like absolute shit at the same time#i very much doubt i'll ever finish and post that animatic now... maybe in the future i will try my hand at a different project#but that also makes me so sad because of the effort and love and pride that went into it already... it just feels like a reminder that#we also fell for the lies... and as i said VERY selfish rant... of course i'm not the victim here. i am nobody#but the feelings are there and it doesn't matter if i ignore them or think i shouldn't be feeling them... they're not gonna go away#so while i can accept that i'm not a victim in this situation and that nothing horrible happened to me... i can still be disappointed right#anyways that's my rant... i will have to look at a piece of art that i poured my heart into and just lock it in a drawer forever#while a veil of horribleness covers everything that has to do with good omens forever...#and of course the reminder that real people have suffered an absolute nightmare of a situation that i could never even begin to imagine#so like... yeah... i'm having a lovely afternoon lol#angel talks#personal
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So I watched all of Spare Me Your Mercy in the span of 36-ish hours and it lowkey rocked me to my core
#I’ve always been a firm and unwavering supporter of voluntary euthanasia#and Kan’s desperation to provide people with the peaceful and dignified deaths the law denies them resonated so deeply with me#I struggle to understand the perspectives of people who would rather let a person suffer indefinitely#than allow them to die peacefully on their own terms#Kan is just an incredible character and I share his desperation and frustration#his final monologue (and the following flashback to Tew’s mother’s last moments) seriously brought me to tears#Tor’s performance felt so raw and real#this drama had its flaws but it’s DEFINITELY going to stick with me and I’m sure I’ll eventually rewatch#and I do actually want to read the books too#spare me your mercy
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Babe, what's arcane??
oh boy.
#the greatest show in existence but that's not an adequate summary#short sales pitch: lesbians and angsty sisters along with magic shenanigans and death#real answer: a heartbreaking tale of two sisters and their struggles in an oppressive society as their city is on the brink of war and the#deal with the trauma of death and abandonment#as well as the greatest love story of all time (the main couple IS ACTUALLY CANONICALLY A LESBIAN COUPLE)#super epic animation and some incredible fight scenes!!!#seriously you won't regret watching it#just don't look at the league of legends underneath the title we don't associate with that#wrongcaitlyn#wrongcaitlyn asks#arcane
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